relief but not quite

i have FINALLY signed the lease to the new place. days of nerve-wracking over finding a good guarantor and getting all the paperwork in are thankfully over for the time-being. so hang and i have a nice new spiffy pad to move into beginning next year, and best thing for me is that peiru is in the building next to us, meaning no more 14 block hikes in the middle of the night. and of course another home makeover to do which will be much much fun!!

laura emailed me today just checking up on how i've been and if i've paid the landlord and the phone company. i think i'm just going to leave a cordial note for her before she gets back because i don't think i can deal with the emotional bullshit and more money sucking that i'm anticipating.

all these problems that consume my mind day and night--just teeny glitches when i open the paper in the morning and read about all the bad stuff going on in the world today. the tsunamis reminded me of the forty day flood. i think perhaps apocalypse is very near and perhaps i will never have the babies i kind of want and kind of don't want. and i want to do something to help the relief in india/sri lanka other than just offer inconsequential words of sympathy--but how? i could donate to the red cross, but i wish i could just up and go and help those poor people. not that i would really know what to do, but just doing something for people who really need it other than worry about getting to work on time.

but it is something i have to worry about and i had better get to bed soon so i don't miss my alarm for the third time in a row.